mya_rofki: (kingsblkdragon)
[personal profile] mya_rofki

title or description

“Thank you, Agent Pellegrino, for expediting the process,” Frederic Lehne said. “I have complete confidence, you know, that your charges against my cousin will be dropped. In the meantime, it seems it’s up to me to make sure Jared’s life is disrupted as little as possible, since he’s gotten so comfortable with Cousin Richard as his guardian. It’ll be easy as pie to transfer him back once Cousin Richard’s been cleared, and in the meantime Jared and I have met before. I think we got along well enough, don’t you agree, Jared?”

“Yes, sir,” Jared answered. With Lehne right there in front of him, he did look vaguely familiar. He was probably at the Speight family Thanksgiving and Christmas, though he seemed to remember Jared a lot more clearly than Jared remembered him. He’d spent his time with Speight’s family trying to sink through the floor, and everybody had seemed to ignore him anyway. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention, but both times he’d mostly been moping about how much he’d rather be with his own family.

“I guess you’re feeling a little stressed about your situation being so up in the air, aren’t you Jared?” Lehne waited, but Jared couldn’t even get his throat to work well enough to play along. It didn’t seem to matter anyway, the man just rolled right on, oozing charm. “Well, I want to promise you right now that I’ll do everything in my power to keep you in the program and out of juvie, you hear me? No matter what happens I won’t let them take you without a fight. You know, I think it may take a few days to settle in, but once you do I expect you’ll find that life with me is really something you’ll enjoy.”

Jared studied his expression, but there was no way to tell yet whether that would prove true or not.

He ushered Jared into an honest to God limousine, and then took a seat across from him. There was a dark glass screen up between them and the driver, and once Lehne took his thumb off the intercom button, Jared figured no one could see them or hear them. He tensed, but Lehne just kept chattering on about what a nice thing it would be to have company in the house, and how he really believed Jared was going to settle right in. If Lehne was putting on an act, he was putting it on for Jared, too.

Jared found himself playing along: nodding whenever Lehne seemed to expect a response and even meeting the man’s eyes every once in a while to prove he was listening. He could feel his fear like a pigeon in his chest, flapping and pecking. The car was filled with the musky scent of Lehne’s cologne. It was hard to keep his mind on the present with dark hazy memories pressing in, threatening to make him panic. He remembered how friendly Speight had seemed at first. And Pellegrino too.

He’d trusted Pellegrino to help him, and instead he was riding home with another stranger.

“You’d like that too, right Jared?” Lehne was saying.

Jared nodded, though he’d missed the first part of it and didn’t really know what he was agreeing to. He doubted he needed to know, since if Lehne wanted him to like something then he would, and if all Lehne wanted him to do was nod agreeably then he would.

“I know you and Cousin Richard got really close,” Lehne said, and the way his eyes fell heavy on Jared’s face and didn’t leave again made Jared’s ears sharpen. “He was good to you, wasn’t he?”

Jared nodded.

“And you were good to him too, weren’t you? Because he was so good to you?”

Jared nodded, found he was holding his breath.

“I hope you’ll show me just how good you can be.” Lehne said. “I always wanted to get to know you better, you know, but Cousin Richie always was pretty jealous with his friends. Even as a child, he never wanted his friends to get along with each other. I thought you and me, we’d get along pretty well, that’s what made him so reluctant to introduce us, the little prick. I mean, don’t get me wrong Jared, I love him, he’s my cousin, but he can sure be a little prick sometimes, am I right?”

The man’s gaze beat down on him like the noon sun in the middle of August. Jared felt his spit dry up in his mouth.

“Well Jared? Am I right or not? What do you think? Is Cousin Richie a little prick or is he not?” Jared couldn’t answer, fairly sure that this was a game, a rigged one.

“Please, sir,” he said finally, and his tongue automatically swept out to moisten his dry lips before he could think better of it. Lehne’s eyes followed the motion. “I- I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh you don’t, huh? I mean he abandoned you, Jared. I mean, little Richie had to go off and diddle around with bad people and get himself arrested, and that left you on your own. If I hadn’t stepped in for you, you do know where you’d be right now? Rotting away in some cell, awaiting transfer back to jail. That’s where you’d be, and all because little Richie just had to stick his fingers in all those pies. That’s what I mean by him being a prick.”

Jared closed his eyes. If he weren’t so hungry and thirsty and flat out exhausted he could have maybe thought his way through. There had to be a way to play it to buy himself some time. If Ackles were in his position, or any other GIS agent, they’d have a strategy. Whitfield once talked a guy down off a seven story building. He’d be able to outthink Lehne without breaking a sweat. But truthfully, Jared’s imagination failed when he tried to picture any of the agents in his position. It seemed to be only him that this kind of thing happened to. He wondered how many people he’d killed in a past life, to earn this life.

“Well, maybe you don’t want to say it in front of me, him being my cousin and all. It would probably piss me off to hear you say it, actually. It’s okay, Jared, I won’t make you say it. I’m sorry, I just wasn’t thinking, so I guess I made you pretty uncomfortable just then. I hope you can forgive me.”

Jared opened his eyes and stared at his lap.

“Jared,” Lehne said. “I’d appreciate if you’d look up here while I’m apologizing to you. It’s very rude to ignore an apology.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Jared mumbled, and darted a glance up. Lehne was wearing a strange half smile.

“It’s alright. But how about you do something for me to put my mind at ease, let me know my apology’s accepted? It is accepted, isn’t it Jared?”

“Yes, sir.” Jared meant to sound firm, but his voice came out weak and shaky.

“Good boy. Now, how about you come over here and just give me a little peck on the cheek, so I know we’re friends again?”

“Yes sir,” Jared whispered.

Surely, anything that Lehne tried to throw at him he’d have experience with. There couldn’t be that much he hadn’t done with Speight, and none of it had been so bad, once he got used to it.

All the same, he couldn’t stop his guts from flip flopping and his hands from shaking as he slowly rose from his seat. The limo roof was too low for him to stand, but that was okay. It gave him an excuse to bend over and keep his body away from Lehne’s. Lehne’s eyes lit up as Jared moved towards him, and one leathery finger coyly tapped a spot on his own left cheek. Silently Jared leaned in, glad when he got in close enough that he didn’t have to meet Lehne’s eyes anymore. He gave Lehne’s skin the lightest kiss he could, and immediately started easing his way back.

Lehne smiled smugly. “One more,” he said, staring Jared down like he was winning some big victory. “Right here.” He tapped his other cheek. Jared leaned in and gave it to him. Quick and light, so he could barely feel the leathery skin. Started pulling slowly back away, and already knew how it was going to go before Lehne broke the quiet again. “One here,” he said, and put one delicate fingerpad on the corner of his mouth.

Stomach clenching, Jared leaned in and kissed him on the left corner, then, at his direction, on the right corner. As Jared pulled back from that one, not daring to back off too far now that he understood the game, he saw Lehne leaning back too, relaxing into the seat, then deliberately stepping his feet out so his legs spread lazily. “One more,” Lehne said, with a Chesire cat grin. Jared waited, still bent over in the middle of the car, and watched Lehne’s eyes dip meaningfully down to his own crotch and flick back up to Jared’s face.

Jared swallowed back bile, all that was in his stomach at that point, and gracefully went to his knees without a word. Following along with the established rules, Jared leaned down and placed a light kiss on the fabric in front of him, dark, expensive, smooth against his lips. He didn’t even press hard enough to feel Lehne through the cloth, and he knew he wouldn’t get away with it for long, but his only victory seemed to be dragging things out for as long as possible. Maybe the car would get where it’s going, or Lehne would change his mind. Or maybe they’d get into a terrible accident and Lehne would get decapitated by a car part.

He pulled back and settled on his heels, eyes focused vaguely on Lehne’s midsection.

He could see it coming, but he didn’t make any effort to avoid Lehne’s hand. It twined in his hair, gently but firmly, and then Lehne pulled his face back down to within millimeters of his groin. Jared breathed out heavily and heard Lehne groan. The pull on his scalp increased until his closed mouth was firmly pushing on Lehne through his slacks.

“C’mon,” Lehne growled, and Jared silently began mouthing Lehne through his pants. He listened wearily to the groans that followed, automatically cataloging the man’s reactions to different pressures in different places. It was information he’d probably have to use again; there wasn’t any point to being in denial about it.

Long minutes passed by. The fabric under his mouth grew damp, and he could feel how Lehne had swollen to full hardness in his pants. He kept his hands clenched tightly on his kneecaps, and tried very hard to convince himself that the worst part of it was how tedious it all was.

He wondered what they were doing at GIS just then. It had been about six in the evening by the time Lehne had shown up to claim him. If there wasn’t any new case to work on, the team might have gone home already.

Lehne fisted the hand in his hair tight enough to really hurt, and used the leverage to rub Jared’s cheek and jaw against his bulging groin several times.

Jared ignored it and pictured the team heading home for the night. Cassidy would be muttering goodnaturedly about her fiance getting lazy ever since she said yes. Hodge would be telling the room at large about a hot date he was going on, and Jensen would claim Hodge was just going home to play World of Warcraft in his underwear, and Hodge would declare that Jensen was going home to make model airplanes in a bra and panties. Whitfield would ignore them all, focused on heading home to his mysterious wife and daughters.

Lehne pulled Jared back, forced his head against his knee so he had a good view as Lehne used his free hand to undo his belt and fly. He burrowed into the slit in his boxers and pulled himself out. Jared opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around his teeth automatically and Lehne began to press inside.

Jared thought about Jensen slipping into his coat, bending down to log out of his computer before flipping it off. He hoped Jensen would spare at least one glance for his empty desk. He hoped they all would.

Lehne hit the back of his throat and Jared choked. That had always made Speight look guilty, but Lehne chuckled and drew back an inch to drive forward, do it again. The second time, Jared didn’t choke, and Lehne dragged Jared the rest of the way in with both hands. His nose ended up pressed into the wiry curls and sweaty flesh of Lehne’s lower belly. Jared relaxed his throat around the intrusion, glad for all the practice he’d gotten with Speight, or else he’d probably have been heaving. In a bizarre way, he felt proud almost that he could do it. Lehne groaned again.

The pride faded quickly when Lehne stopped moving. Lehne was blocking his airway completely, and he couldn’t breathe. He waited, but the seconds ticked by and still Lehne held him there. He wondered if he was supposed to be doing something, but it seemed like Lehne would say so if that was the case. After a while water began to trickle from the corners of his eyes and down his distended cheeks. His lungs spasmed and begged for air. Then his ears began to ring. His vision tunneled until all he could see was Lehne’s face, red and sweaty and pleased. Jared dug his fingernails into his knees with the effort of not moving. Black spots appeared before his eyes. He finally whimpered deep in his throat. The rushing of blood in his head was so loud he couldn’t tell if the sound escaped, but Lehne groaned and shifted. He didn’t move to let Jared breathe, though. The black spots expanded into black fields, the rushing in his head grew overwhelming.

Jared finally couldn’t keep himself from struggling any longer. He pulled back sharply with his head and pushed hard with his hands. For a second it seemed like he wouldn’t go anywhere, and then Lehne yanked him off and tossed him to the floor of the car.

He lay gasping on his side as his vision finally cleared, too limp with relief to move from where he’d landed. One ankle twinged slightly at the way his foot was bent back against the seat and he could feel the lump of Lehne’s toe under his hip. He only had a few moments of rest before Lehne’s foot drew back and drove forward into his stomach. Pain exploded through him, and all his fresh air whooshed out of him. Before he could recover, Lehne’s foot landed in his stomach again. Jared curled around it as tightly as he could. Lehne pried his foot free and started kicking more wildly, digging hard into Jared’s arms, shins, anywhere he could reach. He was saying “You don’t do anything without my permission, you stupid little slut. What did you think you were doing there, dumbshit? Huh? You don’t fucking pull away from me. Not ever.”

My entire life is a rigged game, Jared thought hysterically. His body shook with the force of Lehne’s kicks. There was nowhere to go to escape them in the back of the car, though the tight quarters meant that at least there wasn’t as much power behind them as there could’ve been. He’d seen enough violent cases to know that if Lehne got him a good one on the temple he might actually kill him, so he curled his arms around his head and waited.

After the kicking stopped, Lehne took a few minutes to catch his breath. Then he wound his fingers in Jared's hair and yanked him upright. With only a few gasps of pain, Jared allowed himself to be hauled onto his knees, and leaned in to take Lehne back in. Jared took the lead immediately: bobbing, licking, and sucking with a will. Lehne still choked him a few more times, but never for so long again. Jared tried to persuade him not to with all the skill he could muster. Eventually, the same tricks that had worked on Speight worked on his cousin, though by the end of it Jared’s jaw was aching and he felt like crying in frustration.

Jared swallowed what he could, and licked clean what was left. He sat back on his heels and watched Lehne tuck his limp dick into his pants lazily. For a few moments, Lehne seemed to forget he was there. Then he looked at Jared and Jared had to work not to flinch. But Lehne didn’t say anything, just snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor. Jared waited for something more, more abuse, more instructions, any kind of words. When Lehne just glared at him, he finally made a guess and lay down. Lehne nodded. He leaned his head back against the seat and began humming softly to himself.

Jared didn’t want to close his eyes, afraid that Lehne would take that as an invitation, the way people who see someone daydreaming can never seem to resist waving a hand in front of their face. He studied the shiny black of Lehne’s shoes, the tan leather of the limo’s interior, his own ragged and bitten fingernails. He wondered what Lehne would do to him once he got him home. The hideous realization bubbled deep within him that turning Speight in had been the worst choice of his life.


From inside the bedroom closet, Jared listened to Lehne leave for work. The top half of the door was slatted, and sounds carried through easily. He didn’t relax until the house had been silent for a while. He studied the door and thought it might be possible to break his way out with enough force behind his bare foot.

He told himself it wasn’t a good strategy. He was sore, and scared, but Lehne seemed to have calmed down after they got out of the car the night before. Jared hoped that if he didn’t give Lehne any trouble, Lehne would realize he didn’t need to hurt him to get what he wanted. It made no sense that Lehne would keep hurting him and risk child abuse charges if he didn’t have to. So things would probably get better going forward, if Jared just did what he had to do. Pellegrino said it would only be a couple weeks this time, anyway. It wasn’t good strategy to drop out of the race a few feet from the finish line.

The truth though, was that all he could think of when he thought about breaking out, was what Lehne would do to him if he caught him in the process. Lehne was a person who knew how to make it hurt. Jared had only needed one night with him to learn that.

There was another way he could escape, too. He studied the shirts hanging neatly from the bar above him, and thought about how easy it would be to make a noose out of one of them. He measured the height of the bar with his eyes and tried to decide if he’d really be able to hang himself from it without his feet finding a way to support him. If he thought Pellegrino was lying to him again, it might be the strategic move to just... end it. He wasn’t even sure, any more, what he was working towards, if he thought about it too hard. If he got free, where exactly did he think he would go? What kind of future did he picture for himself? He tried to think, but it was all a blank. He couldn’t go back to Speight, so he couldn’t go back to GIS. Pellegrino had proven untrustworthy, and even if he didn’t end up back at the detention center, he couldn’t promise himself he’d end up back home either, not when he hadn’t heard a word from him parents in six months.

When his suicidal thoughts got too serious for him, he hoisted himself to his feet and started looking at the clothes. They were all expensive suits, arranged by color. At the far right of the closet was a travel bag. He unzipped it to find another suit inside, an old black one. It smelled of mothballs and cigar smoke, and when Jared examined it he found a label in the neck for a tailor named Franz Hessel. He zipped it back away. He thought that the man who wore the suit must have been Lehne’s father, and he wondered what the man was like, to raise a son like Frederic Lehne.

The closet was dim, but there was enough light to examine the entire inside of it. On each of the walls, Jared found some shallow scratches. He traced them with his fingernails. He wondered if there had been someone else locked in here before him. He wondered if there had been another boy, and where that boy was, and whether he was still alive or not. He didn’t realize how hard he was pressing until his nails started to feel sore.

He thought of Jensen, and traced his phone number into the wall with his fingertips over and over. He bit down on his lip and recited the number forwards then backwards in his head.

He thought again about breaking out of the closet. He could call Jensen from the phone he’d seen on the bedside table last night. Jensen would come get him. He wouldn’t have to be afraid any more. He should do it.

He thought about what would happen to him if he broke out, called Jensen, and only got his voicemail. He thought about Lehne sneaking up behind him with the phone pressed to his ear. He didn’t move. He probably wouldn’t be able to break the door himself anyway.

As the time passed, his mouth grew dry as cotton and his bladder grew agonizingly full. He counted to one hundred forward. He counted down from one hundred backward. He lightly scratched the first two digits of Jensen’s number into the wall, before he realized what an incredibly stupid idea that was. He lost it and scratched desperately and uselessly at the plaster to the side of his head until the numbers were obliterated and his fingernails had fine white dust ground in under them. He wondered if he was going crazy. He wanted someone to tell him it would be okay, and that he wasn’t going crazy, and that he was really handling all of this very well.

He suddenly missed Speight so much it almost hurt. If Speight were there, he would pull Jared into his lap, and he’d understand that Jared wasn’t in the mood, because of what he’d been through the night before, and maybe he’d just hold Jared and rock him and stroke his hair and cry.

He decided that if he could choose anybody to rescue him, it would be Speight, because Speight loved him. Jensen and Whitfield might surrender him back to Pellegrino if they were ordered to. They might like him an awful lot, but nobody in the world would fight for him like Speight would.

Except, that was before he’d betrayed Speight. Maybe there wasn’t anybody in the world who would fight for him anymore.

He fell asleep for a while, and he woke up to silence and darkness. He curled tight around his abdomen. He was going to have an accident if he had to wait much longer. Lehne had to be home soon. He had to.

Jared’s thoughts dipped and drifted, but he couldn’t let go of his discomfort enough to actually fall asleep again after that.

Finally, he heard the front door open. There were footsteps on the stairs. Lehne headed straight for the bedroom, didn’t pause until he was right outside the closet door.

The lock clicked and the door swung open. Jared stared up at him, squinting a little against the sudden light.

“Please sir,” he croaked. “Please, sir, I need to use the bathroom, please.”

Without speaking, Lehne reached down and grabbed Jared’s arm, pulled him to his feet. Jared hissed in discomfort and pressed his hand against his groin tightly.

“Since you asked so nice,” Lehne murmured soothingly. There was something wrong in his eyes, and Jared was already learning to fear Lehne when he grinned like that.

Lehne marched him down the hall and parked him in front of the toilet, Jared waited for him to leave, but instead of leaving he grasped Jared’s upper arms and leaned his chin on Jared’s shoulder.

“Need to piss, boy?” Lehne whispered in his ear. “Been holding it like a good boy? You been a good boy today? Bet you’ve been squirming. It’s never so bad at first, but then it builds up and it builds up and it builds up. And all you want is to let it out, just relax and let go.”

“Please, sir,” Jared interrupted.

“You want permission to let go, Jared?” Lehne husked. “It’ll feel so good.”

“Please, sir,” Jared said again.

Lehne’s right hand slid down Jared’s arm and around his abdomen to rub lightly at his belly. Jared trembled.

“All full, aren’t you?” Lehne asked. And thank God, thank God, his other hand dipped down to snag in Jared’s waistband and pull.

He pulled Jared’s pants down around his thighs, and then left them to wrap his hand around Jared. Jared held his breath and prayed. So close now. So close to being able to let go. God.

He didn’t care even about Lehne’s eyes on him, about Lehne’s hands on him. He bit his lip hard and waited for permission. Lehne drew in a sharp breath, and then suddenly pushed in hard with the hand cupping Jared’s belly.

Jared clamped down with his internal muscles, but it was too late. A short burst rained down into the toilet before he could stop it, sound loud in the quiet room.

He heard Lehne’s laugh in his ear, then the man ground his hips forward and pushed in hard on his stomach again. Jared was squeezed between the body at his back and the hand on his belly and he couldn’t stop himself from letting go. The relief almost made his eyes roll back in his head.

“Dirty boy,” Lehne hissed in his ear, but he held him there and let him piss.

When Jared’s bladder was empty, Lehne’s hand twined in his hair and pushed him to his knees. Lehne dropped to his knees behind him.

“Didn’t say you could, did I?”

“No, sir,” Jared mumbled. He told himself not to feel ashamed, because it wasn’t his fault he’d come so close to pissing his pants. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t hold it anymore, with Lehne pressing on him like that.

“What are you, an animal?” Lehne said. “Like a nasty fucking dog or something, just piss whenever you feel like it, is that it?”

Jared bit his lip and didn’t answer.

Lehne’s hand in his hair tightened, and then he pushed Jared forward, pushed his face down towards the toilet bowl. Jared tried to twist away so hard he could feel hair yanking free, but Lehne’s grip never loosened. His face was submerged in warm, acrid water. He couldn’t breathe, and he couldn’t get away. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He was terrified that he was about to be drowned in a dirty toilet bowl.

After a few seconds, Lehne pulled him out. He gulped in air like a landed fish. Lehne was still hissing at him, but he couldn’t focus on what the man was saying over the rushing in his ears.

Then Lehne was plunging him back in. He got his hands braced on the rim of the toilet somehow, and it bought him long enough to get a deeper breath. Then Lehne overpowered him and he was forced back in.

This time, he held him under for more than a few seconds. Before long Jared was struggling desperately, heart pumping, lungs bursting, black spots in front of his eyes. He held his breath as long as he could, but he had to expel the used up air from his lungs eventually. Then he held on for a little bit longer with nothing in his aching lungs. Eventually his body overrode him and he sucked in a gulp of stinging water. Lehne instantly hauled him out to retch, choke, and gasp on the floor. Lehne waited until he’d caught his breath to do it again.

He lost count of how many times it happened.

He ended up wet and disgusting and exhausted, heaving on his side on the rug while Lehne rained down insults and unbuckled his pants. He stopped fighting completely, stopped believing anything but that Lehne was going to kill him.

He lay like a corpse while Lehne fucked him, and thought about nothing. Things were so bad he shouldn’t have been able to stand it. But for the moment he had nothing left in him, not even fear. He was numb through and through.

title or description

According to the guidelines of the YOAP, the first liaison meeting shouldn’t have happened until the end of the first full month of the placement. Instead, Jared had one scheduled for the beginning of the second week.

He wasn’t sure if it would be Pellegrino he’d see at the meeting or not, but he had fantasies about just walking into the office and pulling down his pants to display the bruises on his ass and hips without a word. If the liaison weren’t Pellegrino, they might listen. It would be a risk, but he was sure it would be worth it. Lehne terrifed him. Jared was trying to keep it together, but there was a part of him that grew louder every day that was certain he would never make it out of Lehne’s house alive.

If it were Pellegrino, he wondered if he’d be able to stop himself from getting on his knees and begging anyway.

Lehne brought Jared to the YOAP office in the limo. He let Jared lie on the floor during the ride, and didn’t bother him for anything the whole way. He’d spent the night before demonstrating exactly how angry he’d be if he suspected Jared of trying to tell his liaison the truth. It had been a lengthy demonstration, and it was a relief not to have to sit in the car. Lehne had seemed to feel he’d gotten his point across by the end of it. He didn’t bother coming in past the security checkpoint.

Jared was escorted to a different office than usual. The man waiting for him wasn’t Pellegrino, or Jared's old liaison. He was a stranger with brown hair and blue eyes, and he studied Jared intently as he shuffled in the door.

Jared kept his face blank and settled into his chair, barely able to conceal a wince as he set his butt down.

“Hi,” said the man. “I’m Misha. I’m your new liaison?” He smiled, friendlier than Jared was expecting. Jared knew his answering smile was probably too close to a grimace.

Why did Lehne do this to him, if he didn’t want to be found out? The pain was fierce and terrible, and Jared wanted to cry from the stress of keeping it locked down and his ass in the chair.

“Youthful Offender 24601, Jared Padalecki, sir,” he offered hoarsely. The liaison- Misha’s- eyebrows rose.

“How are you doing, Jared?” he asked. He seemed sincere. Jared wondered if Lehne had this one on his payroll, and was testing him. Or it could have been Pellegrino who was testing him. His determination to throw himself on the mercy of a stranger wavered.

“I’m fine, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“Good. That’s good. So how long have you been in the program now, Jared?”

“Six months and two weeks, sir.”

“What do you think of it?”

“I- I’m very happy being part of the program, sir.” Misha’s eyebrows flickered again. A smile might have helped convince him, but Jared couldn’t. He knew that if he tried it would come off worse than if he didn’t try at all. He was too distracted by the feeling that there might have been some blood seeping in his underwear. He’d had to climb two flights of stairs to get to this office, and it had hurt. He tightened his jaw and glared straight ahead.

“So you’d recommend it to others?” Misha asked. “Other kids considering it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Really? Despite the fact that your first YOAP guardian is in fact being held in jail right now for numerous crimes?”

Jared looked at him closely, but there was just no way to tell if Misha was trying to trip him up or not.

“I’m very happy being part of the program, sir,” he finally said. He stopped meeting the man’s sharp eyes and focused on the wall over his shoulder instead.

“I see.” Misha said. “How do you like your new guardian, Jared? Frederic Lehne, is that right?”

“I’m very happy with my new guardian, sir,” Jared monotoned.

“You’re learning a lot as his apprentice?”

“I- it’s still the first week, sir. It takes time to settle in so, Mr. Lehne hasn’t started me working yet, sir.”

“Oh no?” Misha asked. Jared’s heart fluttered.

“Well, I guess it’s still early days yet.” Misha continued soothingly. “How are you spending the time off?”

“I- I don’t know, sir.” Jared cast around for something to offer. He glanced at Misha’s face and found his brow furrowed. “I read, sir? I- Mr. Lehne has a big library. That’s- that’s how I spend my time.”

“Okay. That sounds like fun. What else?”

“I... watch TV, sir? Movies? Mr. Lehne has a big screen TV, sir.”

“And what else?”

Jared swallowed and shook his head. He was pretty sure he was failing the easiest pop quiz in the world. “Nothing else, sir,” he grunted tightly.

“Alright. TV, movies, books, that’s plenty. That’s how I’d fill the time off, too. Except I’d probably add playing my mandolin to that list.” Misha paused, like he was waiting for Jared to say something to that. Jared stared over his shoulder and waited for the next question. His ass was in agony and he was almost positive that there was blood seeping. If there was, when he turned to go, Misha might see it.

“Sir, I- I need the bathroom, please,” he said quickly, before Misha could start up another line of questioning.

“Oh. No problem, sure, let me take you.”

He waited until Misha had gotten out from behind his desk and was waiting for him by the door before rising himself. Moving hurt, of course, but it was a huge relief to have his ass off the seat again. The government chair had about as much padding as a stack of folded newspapers.

They didn’t meet anybody else in the halls, and Misha stopped at a water cooler, plucked a paper cup from a stack and pointed at a door a few feet on with a smile. “Boy’s room,” he said. Jared did his best to smile back and appear relaxed as he passed the man and slipped inside.

Though the YOAP was a new program, the building it was located in was old. The bathroom was dingy, with fluorescent lighting turning everything an unappealing shade, including his shaking hands. He hid in a stall and undid his trousers quickly. There was a small stain of blood in his underwear. None of it had reached through to his pants yet, but he was glad he’d come to the bathroom when he did.

He folded up toilet paper into a thick square, positioned it in the seat of his underwear and gingerly pulled his pants back up.

“Jared, you all set in there?” Misha knocked on the door, and then Jared heard it swing open.

“Yes, sir,” he called. He flushed the toilet and scrabbled the lock on the stall door open. Misha was standing just inside the door, and made no secret of casting an eagle eye over him from head to toe. He could feel Misha still watching him as he hustled over to the sink to wash up.

Back in the office, Misha leaned forward over his desk and just looked at Jared for a long minute. Jared focused on the wall behind his head and tried to breathe normally.

“You know, Jared, I’m here to make sure you’re happy and thriving in your placement. If there’s something about it that you’re having trouble with, you can tell me. I’m here to help.”

Jared took a deep breath. “Thank you, sir, but I’m fine. I just feel a little sick today. Nothing’s really wrong.”

Misha nodded thoughtfully. “Alright. Well, just remember that I can be reached anytime if anything arises.”

Jared was driven home by Lehne’s driver, who must’ve dropped Lehne off somewhere before returning to pick Jared up. He spent the car ride wondering if he should’ve told Misha the truth after all. He was also worried about the fact that Misha hadn’t passed him any thumbdrives, or given any indication at all that Pellegrino had spoken to him. Why wouldn’t Pellegrino have used the liaison meeting to get the ball rolling already? Jared didn’t even know what he was supposed to be looking for at Lehne’s house. How was he going to be out in a few weeks, if he couldn’t even get started yet?


Jared lay on Lehne’s bed next to the phone, Misha’s card in his hand. When he heard the car in the driveway he quickly slipped it back into his pocket. The card was already worn at the corners from his nervous thumbing. All afternoon he’d lain here. He’s even picked up the receiver a few times, and started dialing. He just couldn’t quite go through with it.

Lehne called to him from downstairs. Jared hurried down to him, feeling sick with fear.

Lehne sat in his easy chair. He beckoned to Jared to come stand between his legs.

“Take off your shirt,” he ordered.

Jared obeyed.

“Pants and underwear, now.” Jared stripped quickly. Lehne pointed at the underwear in the floor.

“Give those to me.” He held out his hand for them. Jared silently picked them up and handed them over. Lehne peeled the shredding, stained toilet paper out of them with a strange twist to his mouth. Jared tried to convince himself that Lehne would go easy on him that night. He’d have to be pleased with Jared for keeping his mouth shut at the YOAP office. He’d protected Lehne. Lehne must see that, holding the crumpled ball of toilet paper in his hand.

“Give me your pants,” Lehne said. Jared bent gingerly and scooped them up. Lehne plucked the pants from Jared’s grasp. He inspected the seat of them. Then he rifled through the pockets. Jared stifled a cry when Lehne pulled out the card. “What’s this?” he asked. His brow arched when Jared doesn’t answer immediately.

“S-sir it’s my liaison’s card.”

“Ah yes. I see. How did that go, by the way?”

“It was fine, sir.” Lehne wasn’t even looking at him. He was turning the card over, examining it elaborately from every angle.

“You have a nice chat with this Mr. Collins?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And tell me Jared, what did you and Mr. Collins find to talk about?”

“J-just the normal things, sir.”

“The normal things. I see. That really clears things up for me Jared. You have quite a way with words, you know that?” With a casual flick of his wrist, Lehne sent the card into the wastebasket next to his chair. “What, exactly, are the normal things you chatted about with your new friend, Jared? If you don’t mind my asking, of course. Do you mind that I’m asking, Jared?”

“No, sir. Of course not, sir. I- he just asked me if I liked the program. And I said ‘yes.’”

“Mmhmm. Interesting. What else?”

“He asked me what I did in my free time, sir.”

“And you said...”

“I told him you had a library, sir, and a big screen TV.”


“I- I told him I hadn’t started working yet, sir. I’m sorry, sir. I said I was still settling in- and he didn’t act like it was a problem, sir.”

“Oh, it’s not. Don’t worry Jared. I have two weeks before I have to start you on any actual work.”

“He asked if I’d recommend the program to others, sir.”

“And you said you would, I suppose?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, Jared, that all sounds very good, but I admit I’m still a little puzzled about one thing.” Lehne pulled Jared in close between his legs. His hands settled on Jared’s hips, and his fingers traced lightly over Jared’s skin, making him shiver. “What I’m wondering, Jared, is why, if everything went so very smoothly and you were such a good, happy little apprentice, I would get a call today, requesting another liaison appointment for you next week? Hmmm? That’s strange isn’t it?”

Lehne’s eyes were flat and still like a snake’s. Jared’s breath caught in his chest. “I told them no, of course. I told them I was a busy man who couldn’t spend all my time driving you to unnecessary appointments. It did leave me wondering why they would do that though.”

Lehne fingertips slid back, touching and following the crease of his buttocks. Jared waited every minute for them to hurt, but they just lightly ran across his skin. “What’s the matter, Jared, cat got your tongue?”

Lehne’s eyes slid down over his body.

The phone rang suddenly, startling Jared badly. “Saved by the bell,” Lehne mused. He lifted the phone and brought it to his ear. “Hello? Oh, Aunt Andrea, yes, Celia did tell me you’d called.”

Jared realized it was probably Speight’s mother. Jared had met Andrea Speight at Thanksgiving, where she’d ignored him until she wanted him to clear the table. Speight got angry and said they were treating Jared as family, not a servant. She hadn’t seemed convinced, but she hadn’t asked again at Christmas. She hadn't said anything at all to him at Christmas.

“And how is poor Richie holding up? You know I tried to call him last week, I have a line on a really good attorney, the best, but I couldn’t get through... Oh no, it’s no trouble... Well, we’re family, aren’t we?” Lehne suddenly pinched his ass hard.

Jared jumped and swallowed down a yelp.

“Well of course, Aunt Andrea... No, I know... I know, I know.” Lehne rolled his eyes. He smiled at Jared and his hand strayed around to Jared’s penis.

Jared’s stomach roiled.

Gradually Lehne’s fingers wrapped around him and started to tighten. “My dear, I know what you’re going through now... Of course I do...”

Pain began to build. Lehne met his eyes and smiled, then looked down. Jared followed his gaze to see Lehne’s knuckles whitening and his own flesh red and tortured, peeking through Lehne’s fingers. He closed his eyes quickly against the threatening tears. Lehne’s hand tightened more. A low gasp forced itself out and Jared felt his knees beginning to shake. Blood rushed in his ears. Lehne gave one last fierce squeeze and Jared had to press the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle a whimper. Then, finally, Lehne let go.

“...which we both know is not true, and so would the rest of them if they’d just think about it...”

Jared opened his eyelids to find Lehne’s eyes were hot on his. Lehne began to wrap up the call. He assured Andrea Speight that he’d call her back later, and hung up the phone.

An instant later, his hands were all over Jared, flipping him around and yanking him down to sit in his lap. Lehne’s chest was hot against Jared’s back, even through his crisp white shirt. His hands roamed Jared’s chest, thighs, groin, sometimes gentle, and then fiercely pinching and pulling at Jared’s skin when he least expected it. They clutched tightly around his thighs, to hold him still while Lehne ground up against him. Then they moved to Jared’s wrists, grasped them and positioned them so he was holding onto the arms of the chair.

“Up,” Lehne growled in his ear. He hauled Jared up with an arm around his chest so he could reach between them. Jared helped, though he felt almost feverish with dread and irregular trembles racked his body. Lehne’d hurt him so badly the night before, there was no way the sex would be anything but agony.

Lehne freed his cock and rolled a condom from his pocket down over it. His hands moved to Jared’s hips, and he moved Jared into position, then began to drive into him in one slow thrust. It hurt. Jared bit his lip and tried to cast his mind far away. Lehne and what he was doing faded out around him.

After a while, Jared was brought out of his drifting by the tightening of his collar. Lehne had stopped moving inside him, but he’d forced the fingers of one hand through his collar. He clutched Jared's groin with the other. Jared stiffened and tried to hold still. If Lehne tightened his lower hand, Jared would be in agony, but if Lehne twisted his upper hand, Jared wouldn’t be able to get any air in at all. And Lehne seemed to adore taking away Jared’s air.

“So, Jared, I’m still waiting to hear what you told that shitstick at the appointment today,” Lehne purred in his ear.

“Please, sir, nothing. I didn’t tell him anything,” Jared rasped. Lehne’s lower hand clenched and Jared shrieked. Then Lehne’s hand around his collar twisted, cutting his windpipe off completely.

“Really? Nothing?” Lehne’s hands released briefly. Jared sucked in a greedy breath.

“No, sir, nothing. Ple-” Lehne squeezed his throat shut and tightened on his groin again. Tears began to stream down Jared’s face. He writhed silently, but Lehne was too strong

“If it were nothing, they wouldn’t have called me at my office today, Jared,” Lehne gritted, his breath hot and wet. “If it were nothing, I wouldn’t have to be wasting my time fucking around like this. There is something. Tell me what you told him, or what you didn’t tell him, or I’m going to have to waste the rest of my evening on this, and believe me, Jared, you will not like it.” Black spots danced in front of Jared’s eyes, and when Lehne gave an extra jerk with his lower hand he could swear his heart stopped at the spike of pain.

Just before he blacked out, Lehne released him. Jared gulped in air as fast as he could manage.

“Sir, please, stop,” he choked out, as soon as he could make any sound at all. His voice was almost gone, shredded and hoarse. “Speight, it was Speight. They asked me about him. I didn’t say anything. I don’t know anything. But they must think I might. That’s all I can think of. Please, sir.” His voice gave out and he sobbed a wheezy, almost silent sob.

“That’s all?” Lehne asked, lips so close to Jared’s ear he could feel them moving.

He quickly bobbed his head.

“They’re just asking you about Richard?”

He bobbed his head again.

“Alright,” Lehne sighed. Without further ado, he dumped Jared off his lap. “Go get cleaned up. I’m starting on dinner now and you have thirty minutes. Get dressed and do something to control that fucking bleeding. I promise you, you bleed all over my dining room chair and you won’t be sitting for a month. Now go.” With a strong nudge from Lehne’s toe, Jared pushed himself up from the floor and stumbled out of the room.


The liaison appointment with Misha Collins was on a Monday, and by Saturday morning Jared was healing well enough that he could mostly forget about how painful moving had been for a day or two. Lehne had pressed in a few more bruises, and the sex hadn't exactly been gentle, but generally things had been surprisingly calm the rest of the week. Jared had learned not to drink a lot of water before bedtime, so waiting for Lehne to come home from work each day hadn’t ever been torture like that first day. Lehne hadn’t tried to strangle him again, or suffocate him, or drown him. Jared was kind of hopeful that maybe Lehne had finally realized Jared didn’t need to be terrorized any more to be obedient.

There was still a low-level hum of fear that sprang up whenever Jared had to spend time around Lehne, but it was beginning to seem like the situation might at least be manageable for a few weeks. He’d decided that if Pellegrino didn’t try to contact him at or before the next monthly liaison meeting, he’d tell Misha, or whoever was there, everything. He meant it this time. He would keep under Lehne’s radar until then.

It was hard keeping under Lehne’s radar when they were in the kitchen, though, as they were on Saturday morning. Lehne had decided to teach Jared how to cook a few days before, and Jared had spent every day since praying he’d give up on the idea. Everything had to be done a certain way, and Lehne’s explanations were sometimes confusing. Jared knew he’d understand faster if he weren’t so nervous the whole time, but he was always aware of how many weapons surrounded them in the kitchen: knives, pans, pots of scalding water. Jared couldn’t forget how vicious Lehne could turn in a heartbeat; it didn’t matter if Lehne was smiling or laughing or humming under his breath.

When the phone rang, Jared almost sagged with relief. He had to finish chopping spinach and tomatoes, and it would be so much easier without Lehne hanging over his shoulder. After he’d chopped them, hopefully, the morning’s cooking lesson would be done.

“Aunt Andrea,” Lehne said smoothly, tucking the phone under his ear so he could stir the sauteeing onions. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

Jared started dicing the second tomato.

“I see.” Lehne’s usual smarminess went a bit sour. Jared’s heart picked up a little. “Well, Aunt Andrea, I’m really not sure what... Of course. Well, of course I do. That’s not-”

With quick, inconspicuous movements Jared scooped the diced tomato into a bowl and wiped down the cutting board. Even when all the ingredients were going to go in together, Lehne insisted on the board being cleaned between chopping two different foods.

“I’m sorry, but I fail to see your point here... Mmhmm... Well-”

Jared dumped the spinach out of the salad spinner and patted it a bit dryer with paper towels. He threw them away and started chopping it. He thought the recipe said chop coarsely, which he was certain meant into big pieces, but he didn’t know exactly what size the book considered coarse, or what size Lehne considered coarse. His palms started to sweat, but he didn’t dare stop to wipe them.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t see how you think it would even help so- No, I know Uncle Alfie helped me out that time. No, I know- you don’t have to repeat the story to me, Aunt Andrea, Jesus, I was there!”

Lehne’s hand was clenching the spatula hard enough to snap it.

Jared bit down on the inside of his cheek and kept chopping rhythmically.

“And I hope you’ll recall that ten years later I returned that favor by getting Richard- no, Godammit, you listen to me you- No! I’m afraid I do not agree! No! That is absolutely fucking ridiculous and- Oh for fuck’s sake. I’m sorry if your delicate sensibilities are shattered but I’d think right now that a little salty language would be the least of your worries!”

Jared thought he was finished with the spinach, but he was afraid to draw attention to himself by looking for the next step in the cookbook, which was on the other side of Lehne. Instead he chopped at it a little more. Maybe coarsely chopped wasn’t supposed to be quite that big anyway.

“Look, Aunt Andrea, I sent him a lawyer, a damn good one. That’s all I can do. A visit is not going to help him that I can see, and quite frankly I’ve got my own career to think of so- No that is not- That- No you listen- You can’t do that. No, you cannot. Well, that will certainly present a problem for me, but it’s not going to make me visit Richard so in the end-” Jared could practically hear the tendons popping out in Lehne’s neck, he’d gotten a shade of red that was frighteningly close to the tomatoes he’d just cut, and whatever Andrea Speight wanted, Jared felt a hatred for her that he’d never felt for her before, even when she was ordering him around like a servant.

Without warning, Lehne pulled the phone from his ear and stabbed the off button hard. “Stupid. Fucking. Cunt,” he said to it calmly. Then he put it back on the charger and came to check on Jared’s progress.

“What the fuck is this?” he exclaimed, grabbing a fistful of spinach and then throwing it back on the board. Jared flinched but otherwise held completely still, knife still in his right fist.

It occured to him suddenly that he had a knife in his hand. He remembered exactly where the knife went in that killed Liam in under a minute. It would be so easy to just turn and push. Lehne kept his knives very sharp. One push and all of it would be over. He was already a killer, in the eyes of the law. What did he have left to lose? But he hesitated a second too long.

The pan seemed to come out of nowhere. From the corner of his eye Jared caught the flicker of movement, but by the time what he was seeing registered, pain was already exploding through his skull. He dropped to the floor like a rag doll. Blood trickled in his ear, the knife was gone from his hand, and Lehne advanced on him, screaming something that he couldn’t quite make out. He was about to die, and somehow all he could focus on was how it was his own stupid fault. He should’ve gotten away from Lehne four days before.

He was in Lehne’s bed when he came to. He was sore all over, and his thoughts were sluggish and dreamy. It took him longer than it should’ve to recognize that the rushing sound he heard was the shower, not just his head. He looked around the room. Everything looked blurry, but he could see well enough to see that he was alone. His eyes landed on the nightstand. The phone was right there. He could just pick it up and dial, if he had anyone he wanted to talk to. His head felt swollen, like his brain was pressing against the inside of his skull. He thought he might be dying. If he was, he at least wanted to talk to somebody before he went. He was so tired of being in it alone. He fumbled for the receiver.

Chapters Nine & Ten

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December 2011

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